Written by Erin Edwards, Ph.D. LP

The holiday season can bring both joy and stress with full calendars, family expectations, and the pressure to make everything feel magical. 

As therapists, we hear parents say things like:

“There’s just not enough hours in the day for everything on my to-do list!”
“I want to enjoy my family but I’m just so stressed.” 

“Isn’t this supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year? What am I doing wrong?”

At Ballard Clinic, we know that meaningful traditions and genuine connection with loved ones are important. We also know that it’s easy for parents to feel stretched thin this time of year. It’s our hope that with a little intention and planning, you can create a season that feels calm, present, and true to what matters most to you. 

Here’s a simple four-step approach to support a happy, healthy holiday season for you and your loved ones: 

Dream. Decide. Do. Let it Go.

Step 1: Dream 

Before the holiday rush begins, take a few quiet moments to slow down, breathe, and reflect. Ideally, your kids can be set up with a movie, an engaging activity, or another caregiver so you can truly focus!

Set the stage for your dreaming with a few deep, slow breaths then ask yourself: 

• How do I want to feel this season?
  
• What traditions do I want to repeat or skip?
  
• What new experiences do I want to create?
  
• What do I hope I’ll remember from this year?
  

Write your answers down. These reflections will become your personal roadmap for the weeks ahead.

Step 2: Decide 

Now that you’ve dreamed a little, look back at your answers.

Ask yourself: What feels most essential?

Maybe it’s a feeling: peace, presence, connection, or fun.
Or maybe it’s a can’t-miss tradition: flag football on the lawn, baking holiday treats, or taking the kids skating.

Reorder your list so your top priorities come first. Everything else can move down (or off the list entirely). This clarity gives you permission to focus your time and energy where it matters most, and to release the rest.

If you share parenting responsibilities or household life with another adult, whether a spouse, co-parent, grandparent, or relative, take a few minutes to align your visions. Talk about what matters most to each of you this season and where your expectations overlap or differ. This shared clarity helps prevent misunderstandings and allows everyone to pull in the same direction.

Step 3: Do 

Now it’s time to bring your dreams to life.

If your goal is to approach the season with calm and presence, block time on your calendar for self-care, whether that’s exercise, journaling, meditation, or quiet moments alone.

If your focus is on traditions, look ahead and plan for what each one requires. For every priority, ask yourself:

• What steps or supplies are needed?
  
• What can I delegate or simplify?
  
• When will I do each task?

If there are multiple adults caring for your children or contributing to holiday plans, consider divvying up responsibilities early. Who’s handling gifts? Travel logistics? Meals? School events? Sharing the load intentionally can reduce stress and help everyone feel more supported and appreciated.

When you plan ahead, you gain more room to breathe, enjoy, and connect, rather than rushing from task to task.

Step 4: Let It Go 

You’ve done the hard work. You’ve reflected, prioritized, and planned. Now, take a deep breath and let go of the rest.

• Release the pressure to make everything perfect.
  
• Allow yourself to say “no” to the things that don’t align with your values or capacity.
  
• Give yourself grace when things don’t go as planned.

Remember: presence beats perfection, every single time.

A Final Thought

The holidays don’t need to be perfect to be meaningful. By dreaming, deciding, doing, and letting go, you can build a season that reflects your values, built on connection, calm, and joy. 

The holidays also often involve teamwork, especially in families with co-parents, blended households, or extended family support. Setting aside a little time to communicate and plan together can make a big difference. When adults share a common vision and clear roles, kids feel that sense of stability and togetherness too.

If you’d like help navigating expectations, managing stress, or caring for your mental health, we’re here. Contact us at Ballard Clinic and give yourself the gift of peace this holiday season.