Written by: Casey Thymian, MA, LPCC

Social media use has been on the rise for many years, and I have heard from countless parents who share concerns about the negative impact it may have on their children’s mental health, and are unsure what the right path is. Many of us have been hearing in the news about Jonathan Haidt’s book “The Anxious Generation” that raises concerns that social media’s algorithm-driven, highly interactive design can amplify social comparison, pressure, and fear of exclusion for teens.

We therapists agree that social media can lead to a negative impact on teen mental health; however, there is some notable research from a meta analysis (Marciano et al, 2024) demonstrating how the use of social media can also have positive outcomes associated with self-worth, happiness, and life satisfaction. The research indicates that social media use can be positively correlated with overall well-being, social connectedness, and a sense of belonging, provided that the engagement is intentional and purposeful.

That’s right, it’s not all doom and gloom. As kids enter middle or high school, many parents struggle to navigate social media as they figure out if and when to allow access while also hearing their child’s concerns about feeling left out or isolated from peers without it. A dramatic statement, I know, but also a very real one that is often expressed in my office. Given that social media is likely here to stay, I’d like to share some strategies for parents to help their children build a healthier, more constructive relationship with it over time.

Set clear boundaries

• Create screen-free times and spaces in your home to promote relaxation and focus on other interests and priorities. 

• Setting time limits on social media can be especially helpful in supporting time management skills and encouraging more intentional use. It can also reduce passive scrolling, which is often linked to a lower sense of well-being and low mood. Younger teens (ages 13-16) might struggle at self-regulation and could benefit from parental controls to help impose time limits, while older teens (age 16 and up) are able to start practicing self-regulation of their digital usage, as they will soon be living independently and managing this aspect of their lives without parental involvement.

• Encourage kids to have routines in their day that are phone/screen free, around bedtime for example.

• Help your teen turn off nonessential notifications or use Do Not Disturb settings to reduce the urge to check their phone frequently, especially when doing academic work.

• Keep smart phones out of your child’s bedroom overnight by setting up a charging station in another part of the house. 

Practice and encourage mindful engagement

• Encourage kids to be intentional about their social media use and follow accounts that inspire them or foster connection. Helping kids reflect on why they are using social media, whether to connect, relax, or avoid boredom, can build awareness and self-regulation skills that carry into other areas of life.

• Suggest that they do a “media purge” every few months by going through and assessing the accounts they follow to see if they still add value or align with their interests and goals. Unfollow those that lead to stress and social comparison. 

• Notice how your child behaves both when they’re using social media and when they’re not. If they seem disconnected, irritable, or unhappy without it, or have difficulty taking breaks, they may need additional support with their social media use.

Promote in-person connections 

• Establish regular screen-free time and family activities. Involving the whole family not only promotes shared experiences, but also models healthy technology habits, showing that you, too, enjoy the benefits of taking breaks, rather than only restricting your children’s use while frequently using devices yourself. Children are highly observant of adult behavior, and parents’ own technology use can strongly influence how kids engage with social media. Being mindful of your own screen habits, such as limiting phone use during conversations or family time, can reinforce the expectations you set and make those boundaries feel more collaborative than restrictive.

• Try a Family Social Media Detox – Take an extended break together and reward time spent on other positive activities. Set aside time to reflect as a family on how being away from phones felt for each of you.

• Promote face-to-face connections by encouraging teens to participate in group activities with peers, which helps them balance their online engagement with more meaningful, real-world interactions, and fine-tune their social skills.

Beneficial Apps to Promote Mental Health:

• The Calm App
  • Includes sleep stories, calming ambient music, and guided meditation practices to manage anxiety, stress, and sleep difficulties.

• Finch – Free App 
  •  Keep your personal pet bird happy and healthy by creating and fulfilling your daily goals. Also comes with built-in guided breathing exercises, an emotions tracker, and journaling.

• InsightTimer – Free App 
  • Provides tons of guided meditations and mindfulness strategies for stress, confidence-building, focus, sleep, and anxiety. 

• Forest
  • An App that encourages focused time away from your phone by “gamifying” productivity- the longer your phone stays on the app and away from other distractions, you continue to grow a virtual tree! 

• Mindshift CBT – Free App
  • Teaches Cognitive-behavioral based coping strategies to manage anxiety by helping individuals identify and reframe their negative thought patterns and behaviors. Provides practical tools such as thought journals, coping cards, breathing exercises, and step-by-step strategies for managing worry, panic, and social anxiety.

The digital world is a central part of teenage life, and social media, when used mindfully and in moderation, can be a powerful tool for connection and well-being. Supporting a healthy relationship with technology is an ongoing conversation that helps kids enjoy the positives of social media while protecting their mental health and building self-worth independent of their online presence. If you believe additional guidance would be helpful, schedule an appointment with us at Ballard Clinic to get personalized support!