Written By: Erika Nelson, MA, LPCC

LGBTQ+ youth often face unique challenges that can affect their mental health and well-being. Many of these challenges stem not from their identity itself, but from the stress of living in a society where they may encounter misunderstanding, discrimination, or rejection. According to Emma Woodward, PhD, of the Child Mind Institute, queer youth may experience distress related to concealing their identity out of fear of harassment, discrimination, or negative reactions from others. They may also struggle with feelings of self-doubt and shame when treated as though who they are is somehow wrong or unacceptable. 

Understanding Mental Health Risk and Protective Factors for LGBTQ+ Youth

Key Risk Factors

The Child Mind Institute notes other risk factors including:

• Little or no family support
• Lack of support from teachers and school administration
• Being misgendered and/or not being called by their chosen name

Key Protective Factors

Although a queer identity can come with unique stressors, there are also powerful protective factors that can promote resilience and positive mental health. The Trevor Project is an organization with a mission to support queer young people and one aspect of their work is conducting regular research within the LGBTQ+ community. Their findings consistently show that family acceptance and support are strongly associated with better mental health outcomes. When young people feel loved, affirmed, and supported at home, they are often better equipped to cope with challenges, navigate difficult situations, and develop a strong sense of self-worth and resilience.

Other essential protective factors include:

• Access to both mental health and medical health care
• The ability to express their identity authentically through clothing, hairstyle, and overall appearance.
• Having a supportive and understanding adult in their life
• Using their chosen names and pronouns at home, school, work, and other settings
• Having strong LGBTQ+ role models whether in the community, media, sports or music
• Attending a school with inclusive practices and policies that actively address bullying, harassment, and discrimination.
• Receiving care from providers who are knowledgeable about LGBTQ+ issues and create a welcoming, affirming environment.

The Importance of Family Acceptance and Support

LGBTQ+ young people may feel apprehensive about how they will be perceived by friends, classmates, community members, and even family. Parents are frequently not the primary confidants for children exploring their identity, as young people typically find it more comfortable to start these discussions with their peers. Coming out to parents can feel especially intimidating, as the stakes may seem higher and the fear of rejection more significant. When your child chooses to come out as LGBTQ+ to you, one of the most meaningful things you can do is reassure them of your love and support. 

How to Respond When Your Child Comes Out

When your child feels safe being their authentic self with you, they’re more likely to turn to you for support and guidance. How a parent responds when a child comes out can have a lasting impact on that sense of trust and connection. If a parent avoids the conversation, dismisses the disclosure, or immediately shifts into problem-solving mode, the child may feel unheard or misunderstood and become less comfortable discussing their LGBTQ+ identity in the future. 

A supportive response can go a long way in helping a child feel accepted and valued. Simple statements parents can consider include:

“I’m glad you told me” 

“Thank you for trusting me with this”

 “I’m proud of you for being true to yourself” 

These responses communicate love, acceptance, and a willingness to listen, which are often qualities that children seek in order to feel supported as they continue to explore and share who they are.

Managing Parental Concerns in Healthy Ways

It is natural for parents to have concerns about their child’s future. You may worry about whether they will be accepted by others, experience bullying or discrimination, or find healthy, loving relationships as they grow older. While these worries are understandable, it is important to process them in ways that do not place the emotional burden on your child. Support groups like PFLAG and Gender Spectrum can provide a safe and supportive space for parents to share concerns, ask questions, and connect with other parents who have had similar experiences. Individual therapy, parent support groups, and community resources can also help you work through your emotions.

Advocating for Your Child’s Needs

As your child becomes ready for additional support in other areas of their life, parents can play an important role in advocating for their needs. This may involve working with school staff to ensure your child’s chosen name and pronouns are respected & address concerns about bullying, harassment, or discrimination, which can create a safer and more inclusive environment. It can also be as simple as regularly checking in, listening without judgment, and providing a space for your child to share their experiences and feelings.

Another helpful step is to connect your child with mental and physical health care that affirms their sexual orientation and gender identity. Working with a supportive and understanding therapist or physician can be a crucial way to help individuals process challenges, build coping skills, and navigate difficult situations. These professionals can also support your child in advocating for their needs, making informed decisions about their future, and developing resilience in the face of discrimination or other non-affirming experiences.

Creating a Foundation of Love, Acceptance, and Resilience

Ultimately, most LGBTQ+ youth want the same thing from their parents: to be known, accepted, and loved for who they are. As a parent of an LGBTQ+ child, you play an important role in creating a supportive and loving environment for them as the outside world might not be as welcoming. By providing them with the necessary resources and opportunities, you can empower your child to successfully navigate the various obstacles they may encounter while embracing their LGBTQ+ identity.

June is Pride Month across the US, and the Twin Cities Pride Festival is held June 27-28th with various suburbs hosting smaller Pride events throughout the month. In a time when LGBTQ+ youth can feel isolated, ashamed, or fearful of how their identity is perceived, offering to attend a Pride event with your child is a positive way to show support for their queer identity. 

• Twin Cities Pride Festival https://tcpride.org/festival/
• Twin Cities Pride Youth Night https://tcpride.org/youth-night/
• Golden Valley Pride https://www.goldenvalleypride.com/
• TC Pride Family Fun Day https://tcpride.org/family-fun-day/
• St Paul Pride https://www.stppride.org/
• Minneapolis People’s Pride https://www.mplspeoplespride.com/
• Disney Pride in Concert https://www.tcgmc.org/disney-pride-in-concert
• Minnesota Historical Society https://www.mnhs.org/lgbtqia

Supporting an LGBTQ+ child is an ongoing commitment to love, acceptance, and advocacy. While the journey may bring up questions, worries, or moments of uncertainty, what matters most is that your child feels safe, valued, and supported in your care. If you or your child could benefit from additional support, Ballard Clinic is here to help!